they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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