Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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