I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
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