It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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