it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
