No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
