SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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