he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
