Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
