I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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