He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
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