Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
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