And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
