even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
