You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
