i'm signing you up for texting rehab
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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