Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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