gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
