i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
