I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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