They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
