Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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