Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
youre lurking in front of me
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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