you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
