This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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