Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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