During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
