Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
