dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
