Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
