just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
accomplished twins. life is a go
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
