you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
