I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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