She's JV to your varsity
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
