and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
