Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
