Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
