Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
