Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
