is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
