If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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