She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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