just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
