trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
vagina is talking i cant
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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