so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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