We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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