Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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