yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
My pussy is not your playground.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
