Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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