apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
