I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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