I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
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